What Affects Whale Migration?

South African police officers do.

Need an explanation? Here it is.

Best line in the article:
"..several arrests have been made but some of these women are still at large."

Do It

This Saturday it is likely that we will be hitting up a few bars in Chicago.  Maybe staying at Bjorn's place.  I don't think he knows that yet.  Not sure on all the details yet, but i'm sure it'll be a damn good time.  If anybody is intersted in going, drop me a line, or a comment, or whatever. 

Also, I added "Seb's Blind Date" to the links on the right side of your screen.  And yes, when I say Seb, i mean, Seb Neumayer.  I guarantee it to be one of the funniest things you've ever seen.  The kid is a riot.

Shoo-Bee-Doo

I didn't get much sleep last night.  I'm guessing it's a combination of these three things:

1.  Went and saw Bourne Supremecy.  I left the theather really pumped-up because it was a really cool movie.  It comes close to number one on my "best of 2004" list.  Nothing's gonna pass up K.B. 2 though.

2.  I've been amazingly stressed out at lately.  One of those "stressed outs" where it won't stop unless things drastically change.   That's from a number of things, which I won't get into.... yet.

3.  I had a horrible dream last night.  And I haven't had a bad dream in a while.  It was a "jump-out-of-bed-and-walk-around-to-calm-yourself" dream.  This one I must share because a few of you will understand what i'm talking about. 

I was sitting in German class freshman year of high school.  Frau Marshall came in with her usual band-aid on the chin and started teaching.  Half way through the class, I asked her a question (which is odd, because I never asked questions).   She turns to me and the band-aid comes flying off.   Suddenly, all this nasty looking stuff comes out of her chin and all over the class room.   That's about it.  I drew you a picture for a better visual. 


Scary stuff, isn't it?

A Lovely Bedtime Story

Ha!

O.K.  Some of you may know more about this than I do, so correct me if I am wrong.

So we have this hear Yukos, the second largest oil company in Russia. 

Mr. Putin goes up to this Yukos and says, "Hey, you owe me $3.4 billion in back-taxes." 
"Hey!", yells Yukos, "That's a lot of money, especially since we only have $1.4 billion in cash (which is still a lot of money)."   Putin responds, "Uh oh, looks like you'll have to sell me your assets which are currently valued at $30-$40 billion but I will have undervalued to meet the tax-claims against you (which could reach $10 billion) so that the government can take over your company." 

Now Yukos in in a bit of a squeeze.  How is it going to get out of this one? Yukos thinks.  "Ah-hah!  Look here Kremlin! Mr. Khodorkovsky, our largest shareholder, had a $15 billion dollar stake in the company before you put him in jail for tax evasion.  How about we have him sell off his shares?  That should be more than enough to cover our back-taxes! Problem solved." 

An awkward silence blankets the room as Putin raps his fingers on his chin.  "This would work," he thinks to himself, "but Mr. Khodorkovsky used to take my lunch money from me when we were in 3rd grade." The Kremlin feels a stone building up in his throat. 

"NO!" he yells, as he brings his fist hard upon the desk.  "He's evil and I'm going to get back at him.  Yukos is mine! Mwahahahahaha!"  

Yukos has no response and leaves the room, head hung low.   Putin remains at his desk and starts to muster up a diabolical plan.  "Hmmmmm", he thinks. "I believe that I will tell my bailiffs have Yukos shut down.  And that includes oil production."  Putin starts to laugh.  "Hahahaha! This will be great! In response to this, crude prices in America will jump to to $43 a barrel and then I can watch them bitch about how much it costs Mrs. Soccermom to drive her kids 15 miles to their next game. Oh what fun!"

So, America's oil prices go up and up and up.  Eventually, people start killing eachother for gas, a nuclear holocaust emerges, Tina Turner leads a gang across deserted terrain in dune-buggies made out of scrap metal to seach for gas and find Mel Gibson who will no longer be kown as Mel Gibson at this time but rather, "Mad Max". 

The End.

 
In other news, today was very eventful.  Everybody around here at work is in a bad mood because I discovered an accounting error that has everybody freaking out.  Eventually, once the error is corrected, it will make reconciling much easier.  For the time being however, it has created even more work.  I'm all for that, seeing as how it's been getting kind of boring around here.           I think it's funny that an intern found the mistake, but I try to keep that to myself. 

This post is too big. 

These Things Anger Me

Wheeled backpack, oh how I loathe the.  The backpack, originally designed for wear on the back to free the hands of cumbersome weight, is now back in the hands of.......hands.   You are the reason that I missed the early train yesterday.  You were always cutting off my attempt to pass your slow owner, with your 2 inch wheels getting stuck in every storm grate and your awkward and halting attempts to try and climb even the weakest of curbs.  Where did you come from and why will you not go a way?


Click pic to make BIG!

These things make no sense.  Everybody that owns one ends up going through more trouble dragging the thing than they would carrying it on their back.  How hard is it to carry 20 lbs on your back?  It's not.  Unless you are 90 years old with rubber bands to hold you upright or you are hauling small loads of pewter in your backpack, you are not allowed to use this clunky device.   

I don't even know what is worse, the fact that people wheel these things around, or that you have the option of wearing it.  People that actually wear the thing look like they are transporting wheelchairs for the horizontally challanged. 

I am unofficially branding you "Useless".

Burn Baby, Burn

I just saw Michael Moore do an interview with Bill O'Reilly.  Moore got burned, as expected.  O'Reilly was his usual hard self with his finger pointing and facts that can actually be backed up.  Moore acted like the fat goon he his and just kept saying the same thing over and over again. 

It's amazing how little one can say, when they don't know anything. 

I also saw the infamous Howard Dean give a mediocre speech at the DNC.  The man received a 5 minute standing ovation and then never really got much applause after that.  He talked a lot but said very little. 

I need a hobby.

She Done Broke. We Done Fix 'er.

This was the first thing I saw when we got to Chicago last night.  I knew they broke down once in a while, but now I know where they get repaired.   About five minutes after this, a bum came up to us and asked us for 22 dollars.  That's all he needed to reach his goal of $280 to  start saving souls. 

He had me sold. 

 
Last night was fantastic.  Irish pubs are a lot of fun.  Especially when you're with good company.   We went to this place called O'Leary's first.  Really tiny, and the bartender was as Irish as they come.  Aaron did a good job pissing him off within the first five minues of being there by making the bartender pour him a different beer.  It was pretty funny. 

After O'Leary's we went to this place down the street.  I don't remember the name of it, but I'm sure it was "O" something. They had good nuts and a old gay korean that was hammered, and 5' 4".    Somehow we ended up back at O'Leary's where we called it quits.

 Happy 21st Casey!........fantastic.  

The only damper on it was getting home at 5:00 A.M.  Boy, that's sobering. Going to bed when i normally wake up.  It's only 3:15 right now.   Feels like 10.